Emotional maturity means knowing how to control your emotions, take responsibility for your mistakes instead of blaming others, and accept other people’s points of view. Unfortunately, being an adult does not mean being emotionally mature and this can have negative consequences for children.
We believe that it is very important to work on your emotional intelligence. But let’s see what emotionally immature parents are like.
They Only Know How To Take Care Of Your Physical Needs
Emotionally immature parents can be great at making sure their children’s basic needs are met. They can provide food, a home, and education, and will take care of them when they are sick.
But these parents are not very good at providing emotional support. When your child is worried or upset about something, you may ignore these feelings because you cannot understand how a well-cared-for child can get into trouble.
They Don’t Know How To Express Their Feelings
When it comes to expressing deep emotions, emotionally immature parents are not comfortable with it. It is important for a child to know that he or she is loved, but these parents are not very good at showing affection.
It could be because of the way they were brought up if emotions weren’t something to share or talk about. Then later in life, they are afraid of appearing vulnerable or weak if they want to connect with their children on a deeper emotional level.
They Don’t Tolerate Differences
Emotionally immature parents believe that they are the only ones who know the right way to do things. If you have a different opinion, there is no point in negotiating to reach a compromise; your point of view will simply not be accepted.
So when you were a kid, you probably always had to do things the way your parents wanted and what they believed was best for you.
They Act Childish
Because emotionally immature parents don’t know how to express their emotions in a healthy way, it can be difficult to know how they are feeling. Still, you can expect your children to somehow know what emotions they are experiencing and what they need.
And if the child does not know this, they might get angry and make the child feel guilty for not giving them what they wanted.
They Often Lash Out At You
Part of not being able to express your emotions correctly is not knowing how to control them. Therefore, emotionally immature parents can often lose their temper and even blame their children for anything that has upset them so much.
When you were a child, you were probably very careful about what you said or did to your parents, because you were afraid you would make them angry.
They Don’t Do Any Of The Emotional Work
Emotional work is what you do to maintain your relationship with someone. In a family with emotionally immature parents, the burden of doing this work falls on the child.
It is their job to repair a strained relationship, even if the reason it strained is not their fault. On the other hand, their parents may never admit they were wrong and apologize for their behavior.
Do you recognize someone’s parents in any of the above situations? How do you think this could affect children? What would be your advice on how to work on emotional intelligence?