It should come as no surprise that the average person checks the phone 47 times a day. Not only that, but about 85% of phone users pick up their phones, even when they are with friends and family.
And we have some personal stories that show exactly how phones can negatively affect a relationship. But we also have stories that show how abandoning their phones can restore the emotional connection between couples.
We would like to remind you that leaving the phone for a few hours a day can do a lot of good for you and your partner.
“We Are Fully Concentrated On Each Other.”
“I’m Paul and I’m in a relationship with a phone addict. It frustrates me because he occasionally slips and uses the phone, even while driving. Personally, I think the best way to beat an addiction is to first understand it. Likes on social media posts trigger dopamine responses that elicit a sense of joy. “
“After getting tired of using my phone, my boyfriend finally said something. We made a rule: whenever we do the same, the phones are put away. This applies to watching TV together, having a conversation, and having dinner. Obviously, we can reply to a quick text message or something like that, but not just sit and roll or watch. “
“We Have Created Tech-free Zones And Times.”
“My boyfriend’s phone gets more attention than I do. I tried to express that in the past, but I seem upset and make you feel attacked. I think many times we cannot connect and communicate so much because he is always on the phone. We can’t even go for a walk or watch TV together without him taking a look at the Twitter account. “
“Very early in my relationship, my girlfriend realized I was using the phone and spoke to me, and we made a deal. We have an evening meeting every Friday and no phones are allowed during dinner or during the fun activities we are having. We use that time to talk about our day or just random things. Also, when we are watching a movie at home, phones are not allowed. “
“We Are Spending More Quality Time Together.”
My husband and I decided to institute a total ban on cell phones for a week. First, we defined some ground rules, which were to keep our cell phones out of the room at all times while we were together.
Also, we were totally retro and used a clock to check the time and set a real alarm clock to wake us up in the morning. We went to a Guns’ N Roses concert, spent the evenings reading, and even opened an official book club for 2 people.
Instead of sitting at home watching TV, we took a 3-mile bike ride to a new restaurant. We also spent the entire week watching just an hour of TV on our laptop. Additionally, we turn off all push notifications to help limit distractions and designate the room as a cell phone-free zone.
“We Communicate Better.”
“When we were together or sitting next to our son, we were both surprised by our phones. Going to therapy to contain our phubbing was definitely a game-changer in my relationship. When we work with the therapist, we implement the following limits: There are no phones on the table and an agreement to maintain eye contact during important conversations.
This allowed our relationship to flourish because we are more in tune with each other and with our feelings. “It helped make things better by allowing us to really talk to each other, instead of saying, ‘Hey, here’s this YouTube video I found.’
“We Are More Open And Honest With Each Other.”
“So lately, I’ve noticed that my guy spends all his free time on the phone, even watching TV at the same time. The only time he’s not talking on the phone is when he’s taking a shower. I, on the other hand, feel like I can’t start a conversation when I see him staring at the screen. I don’t see this as a genuine or present conversation. “
“My husband uses the home phone a lot and we talked about it in premarital counseling. We mix schedules without a phone, but I love doing activities where it is impossible to use the phone. These activities include cycling or hiking together. We spend about 5 hours a week doing this together. “
Do you and your partner spend time on your phones while you are together? Did you notice that your relationship is declining because of this?