It is very important to have a good relationship with people because social connections are a big part of our lives. However, the time spent building a relationship doesn’t always bring positive results.
If you spend more time on someone else’s business than your own, this is a good time to stop and think. We investigated the problem and found cases where it is best to revise your priorities.
5. You Can’t Say No
What’s going on: There are more someone else’s tasks on your to-do list than yours. Helping, consulting, buying, caring, lending – every little thing is a waste of your precious time.
If you’re asked what all these people have done for you, you will probably grow old thinking of an answer.
What to do: Make your own chores your number one priority. If someone tries to show that you are a selfish and ungrateful person, it is more likely that it is a manipulation of your emotions.
Before blindly reaching out a helping hand to someone, ask yourself if that person, in fact, benefits from being saved all the time.
4. You’re Looking For Approval
What’s going on: You don’t feel safe and are constantly trying to get approval from people whose opinion is important to you. You do something to be praised or complimented by your boss, colleagues, friends, and family.
If you are approved, you feel like you’ve done something “good.” If you didn’t get the feedback you wanted, you feel like you’ve done something unimportant or “bad.”
What to do: You have to decide that you are good and that you don’t have to prove it. Instead of seeking approval, strive to achieve your goals.
Develop and progress in your profession, take care of your health, love, and be loved. Trust will become your faithful companion and your need for approval will disappear.
3. You Smooth Things Over
What’s going on: you do not argue, complain, fight, or defend your rights. It is easier to accept, be patient and calm and be a good guy so as not to cause conflicts. However, it is an illusion: if you do not speak your opinion, no one will know that you have it.
What to do: Allow yourself to have an opinion. You don’t need to seek support from someone who seems taller and more confident than you.
When you express your opinion openly, you show your individuality. The respect you deserve is more important than a single smile.
2. You Blame Yourself For Other People’s Emotions
What’s going on: Do you usually apologize if you can’t respond to someone’s request or don’t guess someone’s thoughts, expectations, or feelings?
Anger, offense, sadness, dissatisfaction – any negative emotion from other people scares you and makes you feel guilty.
What to do: Lower the stone you are trying to carry – responsibility for someone else’s feelings, problems, and expectations.
When you feel strangled with guilt, think about the following: What did that person do to solve your problem? Why do they have time to complain and suffer if the problem has not yet been resolved?
1. You Don’t Set Boundaries
What’s going on: You’re always ready to do everything for everyone. If someone has an urgent problem, you will give up all their tasks, drive around half the city and solve the problem for free. You can always change businesses, but you cannot refuse to help someone else.
What to do:Think about your policy and tell it to the people around you. Are you going to spend a weekend away?
Tell them you can work on the project until Friday. You shouldn’t make excuses. You must be your own priority once and for all.
Are you successful in setting your own limits? How do other people react to this?