Throughout our lives, we continue to fall in love and break up, sometimes only to be get together again. Some people enter our orbit, others leave, causing us to experience dramatic emotional ups and downs that we never imagined possible.
But psychologists say that a person can only genuinely fall in love three times. And each of these experiences, in its own way, is important and even necessary.
Fairy Tale Love
Often our first love comes when we are still very young. It strikes us as the kind of sentiment we’ve been reading about in fairy tales. So, we idealize and believe that it is for life.
At that time, we tend to do things that our colleagues or family expect us to do. We refuse to pay attention to small issues and are willing to sacrifice our principles for the good of our relationship because deep down, we believe that everything is as it should be.
The outward appearance of our relationship is more important to us than what we actually feel.
This love teaches us that looking at your partner is as important as looking around you.
The second love of our life is the most complicated. Confident that we have learned a lesson from past experiences, we are careful to choose a completely different type of partner. Or so we think.
We are likely to be manipulated, lied to, or even hurt. We hold on to any opportunity to fix our relationship, but each new attempt turns into an even greater failure. It is a true drama with only occasional moments of happiness.
Once again, our true feelings are skewed in favor of something else – in this case, endless attempts to save an ailing relationship.
Such love teaches us that it is important to be loved in return.
The third love comes into our lives when we have stopped waiting. It comes unnecessary and does not seem to correspond to our idea of what true love should be.
It doesn’t seem perfect. But it is a genuine relationship, characterized by a feeling of extraordinary tranquility, something that cannot be explained in words.
At this stage of life, we have no more expectations. We do not waste time thinking about the qualities that the love of our life must have.
So we are finally ready to accept our partner as he really is. Most importantly, our partner sees us in exactly the same way.
This love teaches us to be real and that a relationship doesn’t need to be perfect.
Preview photo credit Block 2 Pictures
Based on materials from Cosmopolitan